How to Save a Life
by x0Bri0x
Summary: postRENT. Roger goes back to the one thing he promised himself he'd stay away from. Can Mimi help him before it's too late?
1. Chapter 1

**How to Save a Life**

**Author's Note:** This story takes place after RENT. RENT ends on Christmas, so fast forward a year, and that's where this story is at now. Everything that happened in RENT has still happened, so no Angel, as much as that depresses me. Mark and Collins are living together while Roger has moved out and is now living with Mimi. Also, if you read, please review. I don't mind constructive criticism, but no flames please.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own RENT, or the song How to Save a Life by The Fray

* * *

**  
**"December 24th, 9PM Eastern Standard Time," Mark Cohen said as he searched the room with his camera. He smiled as he watched his friends interact with one another. Maureen was performing, which was mainly just her acting like a cow, while the rest of the bohemians cheered her on. Though Maureen's girlfriend, Joanne, didn't seem to like all the attention everyone was giving _her_ girlfriend. 

Mark caught sight of Joanne's expression. "No need to worry," he reassured her, "One's gay and two are dating—Roger, what the fuck are you doing?"

Roger smirked from his position with Mimi on the couch. "Mimi."

Mark sighed and shut off his camera while Maureen pouted. "_Hello_? Wasn't everyone watching _me_ perform a minute ago? I put on a great show you know."

"Oh, I know," Joanne smirked as she walked over to her girlfriend and kissed her.

"Why are all my friends so perverted?" Mark asked himself.

"Speaking of performing," Mimi said as she got up from the couch, "I'd better get going. I'm working tonight."

"They wouldn't even give you Christmas Eve off?" Collins asked.

Mimi sighed and shook her head. "Nope, I don't mind though. I mean Roger and I need the money…"

"No we don't," Roger said quickly, "I think we could manage fine without your tips."

"Where else are we going to get money from?" Mimi asked, "Oh wait, sorry. I forgot how well your music is coming. It's taken you what, two years to write three songs?"

"Four," Roger corrected, "And I'm just saying that you shouldn't have to stri—dance, for us. I'm sure these guys would lend us money if we got desperate." Roger motioned to Mark, Maureen, Joanne and Collins who all exchanged glances with each other, but none wanted to say anything.

Collins was the first to speak. "_What_ money?"

Mark nodded. "I'm sorry you guys, but Collins and I have enough trouble getting by and it's just the two of us living here. I don't want you to have dance Mimi, but…"

"It doesn't have to be a bad thing," Maureen said quickly, "Performing is _fun._ No matter what kind of dancing you're doing." Maureen smiled at Mimi who returned the smile.

"I just don't think she should be doing that kind of dancing for anyone but me," Roger mumbled.

Mimi walked over to him and whispered in his ear, "I'll give you a solo tonight." Mark unwillingly overheard and fiddled with his camera to distract him.

Roger's eyes lit up at the offer and he gave Mimi a quick kiss. "Only me right?"

Mimi smiled. "Of course. Well I'm off, see you guys later."

Everyone waved goodbye and once Mimi had shut the door Mimi clapped her hands together and yelled, "Ok, who wants to see the rest of my dance?"

"I do!" Collins exclaimed eagerly, jumping onto the couch.

"I wouldn't sit there if I were you," Mark said as he turned his camera on to film Maureen. Collins made a face as he remembered what Roger and Mimi had just been doing on that couch and quickly got off and joined Mark behind it. Joanne quickly joined the two of them from across the room, while Roger just stood off to the side.

Maureen got down on her knees. "Moooo!" she yelled out.

"Moooo!" the room echoed, minus Roger. Maureen shot him a look, but he didn't seem to notice.

Maureen lifted up one of her legs and started to talk about cows, which Roger was sure had something to do with the homeless to help her protest…but he just didn't care enough to listen. He was too worried about Mimi to care.

He watched Mark, Collins, and Joanne enjoy Maureen's performance with huge smiles on their faces. How could they be so _happy_? Didn't they realize one of their friends was out on Christmas Eve stripping to get money, basically selling her dignity?

"I'm going for a walk," Roger said, not caring that he was interrupting Maureen's performance.

"You're going to walk alone on Christmas Eve in this neighborhood?" Joanne asked, sounding concerned. Roger shrugged.

"You'll get mugged," Collins said.

"That's the plan," Roger said, leaving the loft before anyone had a chance to say anything else.

The cold New York air hit him abruptly and he shivered. He walked past the Cat scratch club and was tempted to go him, but he stopped himself. He knew that seeing his girlfriend half naked dancing around a pole with other guys cheering her on would just make him feel worse.

Roger kept his face down while walking and accidentally bumped into someone. "Sorry," he mumbled. He looked up briefly and when his eyes met the man who he'd bumped into he couldn't help but say, "Fuck."

The man smirked. "Good to see you too, Roger. How's Mimi? I haven't heard from her in a while."

"Clean," Roger answered, "And not going back."

The man nodded. "I see, still working at the Cat scratch club?"

"Yes."

"Doesn't that bother you?"

"Isn't that none of your business?"

The man shrugged. "Well, Mimi's clean and not going back…what about you?"

"Not interested," Roger answered, beginning to walk away. The man cut in front of him.

"You sure? Might make you feel better about your girlfriend dancing for other men…"

"Or it might ruin my life again. Besides, I don't have the money."

"I'll give you some for free, just to get you started again," he offered, "Don't you miss it at all?"

Roger paused. He _did_ miss it. He missed how if only for a moment, all his problems just disappeared. This man was offering it for free, how often did a chance like that come around? And he wouldn't ever do it again after this, he just wanted it now.

Roger sighed and held out his hand. The man placed the small bag of white powder into it. "Don't expect me to become a full time customer."

"That's what you said the first time."

"This time I mean it." Roger tucked the powder into his back pocket and walked away. At least he'd be happy on Christmas this year.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:** I'd like to thank everyone for taking the time to read and review, it means the world to me. Hopefully you'll enjoy this update.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own RENT or the song How to Save a Life by The Fray

* * *

Roger returned to the loft from his walk to find Mark and Collins sleeping in their respective beds, while Maureen and Joanne were asleep beside each other in their beds. Roger sighed when he realized Mimi hadn't returned yet, and it was almost midnight.

Roger stretched himself out on the couch and closed his eyes in an attempt to fall asleep. It wasn't working, though. His mind kept drifting from images of the drugs he'd gotten earlier to Mimi working at the Cat scratch club. Every time he told himself to throw away the drugs, he pictured Mimi dancing, and that reminded him of why he'd gotten them in the first place.

The door to the loft creaked open and Roger turned his head to see Mimi at the door. He put his finger to his lips to tell her to be quiet as not to disturb everyone sleeping. Mimi nodded and tiptoed towards him. Once she reached him she gave him a quick kiss and then sat down beside him on the couch.

"How was work?" Roger whispered, not sure if he wanted to hear the answer.

"Amazing!" Mimi said excitedly, "I guess everyone was feeling generous since it's Christmas Eve, look at all the tips I made!" Roger couldn't help but wonder if everyone was feeling generous or if they were all just drunk off their ass. Still, he shared in Mimi's excitement about all the money she'd made, because it _was_ a lot for one night's work.

"That's great Mimi," Roger said, "Really, that should last us for a little while." Roger leaned into Mimi and kissed her slowly. Mimi kissed him back while slowly moving her hands along his body, until something caused her to stop abruptly.

"What's wrong?" Roger asked.

"What's in your pocket?" Mimi asked, "It feels like...a small bag of some sort."

Roger froze. "Candy bar wrapper," he answered eventually.

"Really?" Mimi asked, "Doesn't feel like one..."

"Well it is," Roger said defensively, "Forget about it, it's not important." Roger started to kiss her again and the object in his back pocket was soon forgotten.

A few minutes later they stopped kissing because Mimi said she was tired and wanted get some rest since tomorrow would be a big day. Once Roger was sure she'd fallen asleep, he took the powder from his back pocket and slid it under a couch cushion, just in case Mimi decided to check his pockets the next morning. He figured that once he was sure no one was looking he'd grab the drugs, find an empty room to take them in, and he'd have a very merry Christmas. No one, especially not Mimi, had to know a thing.

* * *

Mimi woke up the next morning to find Mark and Joanne awake and talking, Collins still in bed, and Maureen still asleep on the floor. She had no idea where Roger was, but he wasn't beside her.

"Merry Christmas," she said to Mark and Joanne, who returned the greeting. "Where's Roger?"

"Shower," Mark answered. Mimi nodded and looked at the couch, which was a mess with some cushions only half on and pillows knocked to the floor. In an attempt to fix it up, Mimi took the cushions completely off the couch and rested them on the floor. A small bag caught her eye, and when she realized what it was she gasped.

"What's wrong?" Mark asked, running to her side, Joanne not far behind. Mimi was speechless; all she could do was point. Joanne covered her mouth in shock while Mark just said, "Fuck."

"I can't believe someone would be doing this stuff," Mimi said, "After the hell Roger and I have gone through with it." Not only was Mimi shocked that someone would be doing drugs, but she felt offended that one of her friends would do it after knowing all the suffering it had caused her. "Is it yours?" she asked Mark, wondering if his reaction wasn't caused by shock, but frustration that he'd been caught.

Mark held his hands up. "It's not mine."

"Joanne?" Mimi asked, even though she didn't really believe it was hers. Joanne shook her head.

Roger walked out of the bathroom, his long hair a wet mess. "What's everyone looking at?" he asked, walking over to join the group.

Mimi held up the powder and Roger said the same thing Mark did, but for a different reason. "Fuck."

"It's not yours, right?" Mimi asked quietly, not even wanting to consider the possibility that Roger might go back to that stuff after what it had done to both of them.

"Of course not," Roger lied as he wrapped his arms around her to try and comfort her. Mimi sighed deeply, giving into his warmth.

"Well then whose is it?" Mark asked, "I really don't think it's Maureen's."

"It's probably Collin's," Roger said quickly, wanting to make someone else look like a bigger suspect, "He met Angel at Christmas time, remember? Maybe it's just his way of coping with their anniversary."

"I'm not actually asleep." Everyone's heads turned to where Collins was staring at them, wide awake. "I just pretended to be because I didn't want to face today just yet, because of Angel, that's how I'm coping with our anniversary. I'd never do drugs to help me get over her, that's not what she would've wanted."

Everyone was quiet for a moment, not sure what to say to that. "I'm sorry," Roger said eventually.

"It's ok," Collins reassured him.

"Well that leaves one person," Mark said, gesturing to Maureen who was still sound asleep on the floor.

"It couldn't be hers," Joanne said, "Maureen wouldn't do something like that."

"Will someone wake her up and ask?" Mimi asked, "I really don't want to believe that one of you guys are lying, not that I want it to be her...I just want to know whose it is, so I can help them." Roger tightened his grip around her, partly to comfort her, and partly to remind himself of why he didn't own up to it. She'd dump him in a heartbeat if she knew.

Joanne walked over to Maureen and gave her a gentle nudge, which caused Maureen to wake up almost immediately. "Merry Christmas!" Maureen yelled happily as she jumped up. Though she liked to sleep in, she was never grumpy when she woke up. Maureen took note of everyone's facial expressions and asked, "What's wrong?"

"Is this yours?" Mimi asked, holding up the powder for Maureen to see.

Maureen walked closer to get a better look. "Not mine," she answered.

"Well then someone's lying," Mimi sighed as she broke out of Roger's grip. "Who ever owns this, _please_, just tell me. I'm not going to judge you, I just want to help."

Everyone remained silent.

"You're a lawyer pookie, can't you figure it out?" Maureen asked Joanne.

"Lawyer? Yes. Detective? No," Joanne answered. "I do know, however, that people who are quick to deny it or are quick to put the blame on other people, are more likely to have done whatever is being questioned."

Everyone turned to look at Roger. "It's not mine!" Roger yelled, "I can't believe you guys would accuse me after all the drugs have put me through. You know what? It _hurts _me."

"I'm sorry," Joanne apologized, though she wasn't sure if she believed Roger just yet.

"Thank you," Roger said.

"Well whoever owns it, you don't any more," Mimi said as she dropped the powder into the trash. "All I can do now is pray you won't go back for more. If you need to, come talk to me, I promise I won't shame you or anything like that."

Everyone nodded in understanding. "Now that that's settled," Maureen said, "It's Christmas! We need to celebrate!"

Everyone cheered, except for Roger. All he could do was look longingly at the trashcan. He'd gotten that stash for _free_. Offers like that didn't exactly come up everyday. He had to get more. He'd find the man again, explain his situation, and hopefully the man would understand and give him more for free. If not, maybe he'd at least get a discount, and Mimi's tips would easily cover that. All he wanted was one stash, and then he'd never go back. He just wanted one in case he felt really depressed one day, that's all. No harm in that, right?


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Notes:** Huge thanks to everyone who reviewed! I have to apologize for the length of this chapter. I thought it would be longer, but I said everything I wanted to say in this chapter in fewer words than I'd thought. Hopefully you'll enjoy it.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own RENT, or the song How to Save a Life by The Fray

* * *

"I think I may have ruined Christmas for everyone," Mimi said quietly to Roger, as they stood off to the side together, watching their friends interact with each other half-heartedly. No one was celebrating like they should've been. "I wish I'd never found it."

"Yeah, me too," Roger mumbled.

"I shouldn't have made such a big deal out of it," Mimi said, "I should've just showed everyone that I found it, asked if anyone wanted to admit to owning it, and offered to talk to whoever owned it. I never should've accused people...especially not you. I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

The phone ringing cut off their conversation. Mark and Collins screened their calls, so they let it go to the answering machine.

"Speeeak!" Mark and Collin's answering machine said. Roger wouldn't admit it, but he missed having his voice on their answering machine. It sounded empty without him.

Roger missed a lot of stuff about his old home. Little things, like listening to Mark's mom ramble on the answering machine, which was happening now. But, the thing he missed the most was his relationship with Mark.

They'd been best friends, and it wasn't just a label to them. They really were best friends, and no matter what the circumstances, they were _always_ there for each other. But once Roger moved out, their friendship slowly started to fall apart. Sure, they were still friends, but it wasn't the same as it used to be. If what had happened today, Mimi finding the stash, had happened a year ago, Roger would come clean to Mark the first chance he got. Now, he was afraid that Mark would judge him.

Roger didn't want to move back in, he really did love living with Mimi. All he wanted was his friendship with Mark back. But, he had a feeling they could never go back to the way they were.

* * *

"I'm not giving you any more for free."

"Come on," Roger pleaded, "I need it."

"You can have it," the man said, shrugging, "I just want full price."

Roger sighed and pulled out a bill from his pocket. "There, now just give me the smack."

The man handed over the small bag filled with powder. "I thought you didn't have the money."

"I didn't," Roger said, "Mimi did."

Roger did feel guilty for using Mimi's money on smack, especially since the reason he wanted to get high in the first place was because she was still stuck working at the Cat Scratch to support them. But, the guilt he was feeling just made him want to get high even more.

* * *

Mark hated being alone.

When he was alone, and had nothing to do, he only had his thoughts to distract him. He'd go out and film, but it was too for late, unless he wanted to get mugged. He'd tried to fall asleep, but his thoughts were keeping him awake.

Collins had managed to fall asleep, while everyone else had gone to their respective homes. Mark started to think about what his friends were doing. Maureen and Joanne were probably…doing something he didn't want to think about. Mimi was probably asleep and Roger…was probably out buying drugs.

Mark knew that the stash Mimi found was Roger's. It was so obvious to him. The way Roger overreacted when he was accused was a dead giveaway. But, Mark had figured it out long before that. He knew when Mimi first pulled out the stash from the couch, hell, he knew _before_ that. Roger had been acting weird ever since he returned from his walk. He was distant from everyone, and whenever Mimi was brought up he made up some excuse to get him out of the conversation. Mark had a feeling that Mimi was a huge part of why Roger decided to go back, and at the same time she was the one person who he didn't want to know he was using again for fear of hurting her.

Mark was starting to get really mad at himself. He knew that Roger was on the verge of ruining his life and he couldn't bring himself to say anything. He wanted to talk to Roger, find a way to show him everything wrong with what he was doing, and pray that he'd actually listen. But it wasn't his place to do that, or at least, not anymore.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Notes:** So sorry for the wait everyone! Homework has taken over my life. Also, I'm finding this kind of hard to write. I don't like it as much as things I've wrote in the past. It's not my first time writing fanfiction, but it is my first RENT one, and I think that might have something to do with it? I don't know, but hopefully you enjoy it at least. And, of course, HUGE thanks for all the reviews. You all get tons of internet hugs:)

**Disclaimer:** I don't own RENT or the song How to Save a Life by The Fray

* * *

"Where the hell were you?" Roger winced at Mimi's voice when he returned to the loft after buying drugs. It was late; he'd figured she'd be asleep. "I was really worried," Mimi continued as she made her way towards him.

"I just went out for a walk," Roger reassured her. "I'm fine."

"You could've at least left a note," Mimi said. "I woke up, saw you weren't beside me, and panicked. Put yourself in my position, wouldn't you be worried if you woke up at midnight and I wasn't there?"

Roger thought about how he'd feel if he woke up one night and Mimi just wasn't there. He knew he'd probably assume she was buying drugs. Did Mimi assume that about him? She was right, but he really didn't want her to know that. "I'm sorry," he apologized as he kissed Mimi's forehead.

Mimi sighed against his chest. "It's fine. I'm just glad you're ok."

Roger pulled away from Mimi. "It's late, we should probably get some sleep."

"Yeah, you're probably right," Mimi said. "Hey, um...do you want to do something tomorrow?"

Roger laughed. "Aren't we always doing stuff together? It's one of those things that happens when you live with someone."

"Another thing that happens when you live with someone is the idea of going out on dates kind of disappears," Mimi said. "I think we should go the Life Café for lunch, just us."

"We don't have any money," Roger stated.

"What about all the tips I got on Christmas Eve?" Mimi asked. "I don't remember exactly how much I got, let me look..." Mimi walked over to the drawer where Roger and her kept money and opened it to find much less than there was just the other day. "Roger...where'd my money go?"

"AZT," he lied, saying the first thing that came to mind.

"Oh, ok," Mimi said. She closed the drawer and turned back to Roger. "Well you know there is something else I wouldn't mind doing tomorrow."

"What?"

"Visit Angel."

Roger paused. "No."

Mimi sighed. "Come on Roger, we haven't been in so long. I'm starting to feel kind of guilty."

Roger walked over to Mimi and took her hands. "Mimi, I'm sorry...but I just can't. Why can't you go alone?"

"I tried once," Mimi said, "When you were in Santa Fe. It was too much for me to handle and I ended up getting high immediately after. I need someone there, just to remind me that even though Angel's gone, I should be happy I still have _someone_. Look, you don't even have to visit the grave, you can just wait at the gate if it's that hard for you."

Roger hated whenever the time he was in Santa Fe was brought up. He hated himself for leaving, especially at the time he did. Mimi had been in hell, while he was searching for heaven. Though Mimi was constantly telling him to live life without regrets, he still regretted leaving, and didn't think he'd ever get over the guilt.

But, Mimi's story of what happened when she visited Angel's grave while he was in Santa Fe reminded him that he could always just get high. "Ok, I'll go."

* * *

Roger's entire body was shaking.

He'd made the mixture, and poured it into the needle. Now the only thing left to do was the hardest part, actually making the incision.

Roger slowly moved the needle towards his skin but stopped abruptly when he came close to the skin. His shaking had gotten so bad that the needle fell on the floor.

Part of Roger was telling him to just leave it on the floor. Let Mimi find it, maybe she really could talk him out of going back. But, a much stronger part of him was reminding him of how happy he always felt when he was high, and how that happiness was right at his fingertips.

"I'm sorry Mimi," he whispered as the needle slowly pierced his skin.

* * *

Roger chose to just wait at the gate of the graveyard, just like Mimi figured he would. He'd been acting really weird all day, more mood swings than usual. She was really starting to worry, not only for him, but also for herself. She really wasn't sure if she could handle losing Roger, not necessarily to death, but even if he just got too distant for her to possibly have a relationship with him.

Mimi walked up the steep hill to Angel's gave and knelt down beside it. She smiled faintly at her friend's name, slowly running her hand down the tombstone. There were two dates below her name, the one that started her life and the one that ended it. To Mimi, those dates held no real significance. It was all the days in between those dates that really mattered.

Underneath the dates was the inscription they'd chosen to put on Angel's grave that simply read: FRIEND. Above everything else, that's who Angel really was. People in passing could call her whatever they wanted, a common word they used being faggot, but Angel would still want to become their friend to prove to them that she was so much more than that.

"Hey girl!" Mimi said with as much energy as she could possibly give. "How's life in heaven? I'm sure you're doing fine. I'm sorry I haven't visited in a while...Roger doesn't really like coming here. I wish he would come, but you know Roger, he has his own way of dealing with things. But Roger not wanting to come shouldn't really affect me coming, huh? I guess I just don't like coming here alone. Sometimes I get really sad after talking to you and really, I just need someone to comfort me..." Mimi's voice trailed off and she sighed. "Well I do actually have good news for you, I'm clean! You probably know that already though, I'm sure you're watching over all of us. If you are, maybe you'll know why Roger's been acting so distant lately. I hate to say this, but I think he might be using again. We all stayed over at Mark's on Christmas Eve and Roger and I slept on the couch. The next morning I found a small bag of heroin under one of the cushions, and I know it wasn't mine. All signs point to it being his and really, I don't know what to do. I don't know how to help him...I didn't know how to help myself when I was using."

Mimi paused to help catch her breath, which was fading from all the tears that were now falling. She never remembered it being _this_ hard. "Angel...why'd you have to leave? I still need you, so does everyone else. Well I guess one thing never changed, even after you died... you've always been a great listener."

Mimi stood up and brushed the grass and dirt off her skirt. She headed back down the hill and then out of the gates, where Roger was waiting for her. Roger immediately noticed her tears and brought her into a hug, trying to fight back his own. He really hated visiting Angel.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: **First of all, so sorry for the wait! I don't really have an excuse, just lack of inspiration. Thanks to everyone who reviewed!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own RENT

* * *

Mimi would kill Roger if he was watching her.

She wouldn't really be mad at him, though. She'd pretend to be, of course. She didn't want him to know that she liked it when he watched her practice; she preferred to appear a little embarrassed. Then, she'd always ask him if he liked it with a sly smile, and he wouldn't have to say anything. Mimi thought it was a fun way to get him to make out with her or, depending on the dancing she was doing, more. If she told him that honestly she liked the attention he gave her when she danced, there was no game. Where's the fun in that?

Today Mimi wasn't practicing her routine for work, but instead some choreography of her own that she'd been working on. She often did this to remind her that she did love to dance, and she couldn't let work ruin that.

She finished her combination and turned around to see Roger there, not to her surprise. "That was really good," he said. Mimi frowned at his tone of voice. He didn't sound amazed, or turned on.

"I told you that if you ever saw me practicing not to watch!" Mimi whined, giving him a playful hit.

"Sorry," he apologized. "It's just when I saw you doing this routine instead of your other stuff I just wondered…why can't you do this for a living instead? You're good enough."

"Just like you're good enough to be a musician," Mimi said. "It's really tough to get a career in dance, just like music."

"Well at least I'm trying," Roger said. "You just keep working at the club like there's no hope of ever getting a career in dance."

"What do you want me to do?" Mimi asked, getting frustrated. "If I quit, we're both unemployed and have no money coming in. Besides, maybe one day someone from a dance company will be at the club looking for new talent."

Roger scoffed. "Yeah, like anyone there is looking at anything but your ass."

Mimi stared at Roger for a second, processing what he just said. Was he serious? "Excuse me?"

"You heard me."

Mimi looked at Roger a moment longer, looking for any sign that something might be wrong with him to make him act like such an ass. His eyes, she noticed, were much wider than usual. Her stomach churned, believing she knew what was going on. She wanted to say something, but what if she was wrong? How could she accuse him of something that huge and have it not even be true?

Not knowing what to do, she left for work without another word.

* * *

Mark had been staring at Collin's AZT container for what felt like hours. He knew that if he just took all the pills at that moment, he could end it all. The loneliness was what had been haunting him more than anything, and he'd love to be in a place where he actually felt loved and wanted. And, he wouldn't have to watch his friends slowly die. After Angel died it really hit him, it was almost a guarantee that he'd watch three of his best friends dies.

The only way he could think to prevent this was if he died first.

There was a knock at the door, interrupting Mark from his thoughts. Probably for the better, he figured. Mark knew he wasn't happy, but suicidal? That title wasn't meant for him.

He was a little confused as to who was at the door, since it was _really_ late. He opened the door and found Mimi standing there.

"Roger's being an ass."

Mark nodded; he didn't need any more explanation. "You want to crash here?"

"That would be great, thanks," Mimi said. "Though, I'm not sure I should really leave Roger alone…"

Mark knew that Mimi was prompting him to ask about what happened, but he didn't need to ask. He was pretty sure that Roger had gotten high, and some little thing had gotten him pissed. He was never really good at handling anger. Mark didn't want to talk about, so he changed the subject

"You can sleep on the couch," Mark said. "I'll get you a blanket…"

"Ok, thanks," Mimi said. "Roger's been acting really weird lately; I don't know what's wrong…"

Mark sighed, knowing Mimi wouldn't give up. "Do you think he's using again?"

"Yeah," Mimi admitted. "I do."

Mark nodded. "Me too."

"Really?" Mimi asked, sounding genuinely shocked.

"Well, yeah," Mark said. "I knew him when he first started using; I know what he's like. I didn't know how to help him back then, whatever I did obviously didn't work since he's gone back, and I don't know how to help him now."

"Well we have to try," Mimi said. "I just don't want to accuse him because what if it's not true?"

"What if it is?" Mark countered. "It's better to do something, just in case."

"I don't know if I can," Mimi said, sighing. "Maybe…you could talk to him?"

Mark paused. He still didn't think it was really his place to help Roger, and he knew that Roger would think the same thing and call him out on it.

But, maybe if he knew Roger that well, it was his place after all.

Mark sighed. "Sure, I'll talk to him."


	6. Chapter 6

Author's Note: Sorry for the long wait! Better late than never though lol

"So, how's your music coming?"

"Good."

"That's good."

"Yeah."

Mark sighed and moved his food around his plate with his fork to distract himself from the awkwardness of the conversation. He was having lunch with Roger at the Life Café. The original plan was to invite Roger to lunch so he could talk to him about what was going on, but Mark was having trouble working up the courage to ask him if he was using again. Though, Mark wasn't sure if he was more afraid of asking or hearing the answer.

"Mark, come one, we both know why we're here," Roger said. "We should just talk about it now; get it out in the open."

Mark furrowed his eyebrows. "You know what I want to talk about?"

Roger nodded. "Yeah, of course, about how Mimi slept at your place last night. Are you here to give me some excuse as to what really happened? I don't know if Mimi came crying on your shoulder about this yet, but I didn't by any of hers."

"Are you kidding?" Mark asked, not able to believe what he was hearing. Mark would never do that to a friend, and he knew Mimi would never do that to her boyfriend. It hurt him that Roger didn't seem to know that.

"Do I look like I'm kidding?" Roger asked. "I can't believe you did this."

"I didn't do anything," Mark said. "Mimi came over because she was mad at you—"

"And then you slept together."

"What? No! We talked, that's all. Besides, I'm sure you remember she has this thing called AIDS. Sleeping with her would be suicide." Mark regretted saying that almost immediately after he said it. But, one thought kept running through his mind…_suicide_. If he slept with anyone who was HIV positive, he'd die. But, it could take a while, and it would probably just amount to even more pain.

Mark was grateful when Roger interrupted his thoughts, because he was starting to scare himself. "Thanks for reminding me that I'm going to die soon."

"Roger, you know that's—"

"I don't want to hear it. I hope you did get AIDS from Mimi, maybe then you'd know what I'm going through." Roger stood up and turned around to leave, but Mark grabbed the back of his coat.

"I am not letting you leave after what you just said," Mark said once Roger turned around. "Nice to know you want your best friend to get AIDS."

"Best friend?" Roger repeated, laughing. "A best friend doesn't sleep with his best friend's girlfriend."

"That's exactly why I didn't!"

"Oh, so you wanted to?"

"Roger, please. We're fighting about something that didn't even happen."

Roger paused. "If you didn't bring me here to talk about Mimi, then why did you? I know it wasn't just catching up between two friends."

"Because you're using again," Mark answered. "And don't deny it, because you would not have just blown up at me like you did if you weren't coming off a high."

Roger's hand clenched into a fist. "I am not using again."

Mark looked down at Roger's fist. "I know you're angry. I know that after this you're going to go get high so you don't feel that angry anymore. So, punch me. Get your anger out right now….anything so you don't just go get high."

Mark didn't think Roger would actually punch him. He was wrong.

"Shit man, you look horrible," Collins said when Mark went home. "What happened?"

"Roger listened to me for once," Mark said. "Figures the first time he does that is when I tell him to punch me."

"Oh my God Mark," Mimi said, coming out of the bathroom. "I am so sorry. I wanted to tell you that Roger thought, you know, before you met up with him but I couldn't get a hold if you and—"

"It's ok," Mark said. "Really. I assume you told Collins everything that we think?"

"She did," Collins answered. "I can't believe we're going through this again."

"I hate him," Mark said. "I fucking hate him for doing this to us. We can't lose him and he just goes and does whatever the hell he wants because it makes him feel good for about a minute."

"I should go," Mimi said. "I should talk to him."

"Are you ok to go alone?" Collins asked.

"Yeah," Mimi said. "I think I have to."

Mimi quietly entered her apartment to find Roger on the couch, strumming his guitar. He turned around and Mimi noticed his pupils were dilated, she shuddered. Something wasn't right about this. She wasn't supposed to be scared of her boyfriend.

"Hey Roger," she said gently.

"Hey," he said, a smile appearing on his face. He got up and kissed her, but Mimi pulled away quickly. She could barely stand to look at him. "I haven't seen you all day."

"That's because you blew up at me for something that didn't even happen, remember?" Mimi asked.

Roger sighed. "I know, but that's all in the past now. Come on, that wasn't much of a kiss." Roger leaned in but this time Mimi actually pushed him. "What the hell?"

"I'm sorry Roger but I just can't do this now," Mimi said. After she spoke, she noticed a needle sitting in the corner of the room, and started to cry.


End file.
